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by Roger Leatherwood 3. The swelling goes down after 60 to 90
days. Not just the space around the eye socket, but the surrounding tissue --
the skeleton structure also shifts as your face moves, smiling, turning or
trying to eat or the other things you do with your head. Breath. Eat. Scream. I had to wait and let the various parts
of my head rest in static decay, adapting to the rude absence of that round
object that didn't match its twin, tied as it has been to the tightly wound
nylon-slick cord that ran deep into the chamber of my brain. It frayed a little
during the recovery. It is the last important one. The other
pieces are on hold, recommended but not required, suspended in the feed and
subject to arterial approval. The left femur and clavicle, still held by wiring.
The lower spice nerves, coiling inside. The orgasmic response the sensors had
jolted lately had been encouraging but still not ready to be engaged. With a woman,
in person -- it was too much potential strain and a certain amount of
spontaneity can bend, strain, and confound in the heat of ardor. Nothing is to
be tested beyond normal laboratory limits. For now I'm my own man. I'm getting my final eye. The other has
been working, an earlier model, since the year of the crash. Everyone needs
some things more than others. Dr. Creighton mentioned one of these days
replacing the replacement, but that was a doctor joke because there are too
many people that need to get theirs first. An artist will create with a canvas. Eyes
are the windows to the soul and the texture can not be casually guessed at that
doesn't match the rest of the implants. There are benchmarks for such things. The
surface must be convincing, the interface true, the machineries in place and
interfacing smooth. The computer readouts have been sent by infrared, they
measure without the stings of electricity running through the cloth-wrapped
wire. The heated circuitry of an ancient cybernetics, the injectable woven
Rhesus electronics that pull my impulses to me rather than having them pushed
in, are humming along nicely now. It's automatic. Like cool water beading
off of thick glass. And the operators pull wiring like
monocryl thread through my skin, sterile and organic under my subcutaneous
layer, past the stratum basale to run
along my Meissner's nerves. I don't feel it and I never did because I was
always under. Microbiological responses always increased
the possibility of infection and I was in the lab for over five months. The
eyes were the last to go and the first to be replaced. 2. The beauty of the trip is they replace your
motor skills where the pain will be the deepest and the worst. After that,
anything that happens you can feel but it doesn't affect you physically. There
is only the dull ache. You know there is a deep trauma your body is experiencing
but it's like you're underwater. Like a large object has hit the top of the
surface and while you're safe at the bottom of the pool you can sense the
pressure of the heaviness oppressing and blocking the light. But the shockwave is dampened. You stay at the bottom, protected,
cocooned. You're theirs now and they don't want you to feel the shock that
might move you to flee, or to fight. To thrash and run. You're not quite numb but you smile. The
talafidan does that and I like it. I drink it all day and the dull ache has
become my friend. I know I'll see again. Nine mouseclaw plugs fit in the seam of stiff
hydrogel seated along my spine, running down to the backs of my calves. Even if
there were another crash, no bridge would be able to break them. It bends like
a palm tree. The lines run the radiant antenna
straight through. I used to have to train to get it to pick up my voice. Now I
don't even have to know what I want. The robots, also of hydrogel with a thin coat
of styrene overlay, put everything away in my homehere. I have started to wonder why they haven't
programmed them to work with me on my orgasmic response. They are soft and would
uncoil to my spice nerves. Actually know how close to get and adjust their own
response accordingly. Increase or decrease the drip. Measure the talafidan mist
so I didn't sleep and yet, my remaining muscles remaining in good enough shape
to animate and motor the armatures protecting their woven mesh. I know the early century laws against sex
with anthropomorphic robotic devices but that's more ancient stigma than
practical obligation at this point; they've only gotten better, we've only
gotten more configured in an ever evolving environment, and it's not like my
organic seedplants still have some fecund potential to co-mingle and commit some
mechanical miscegenation. I've missed the sunlight. The walks on the
beach they filled the storyfilms with back when I was a kid. It would be nice
to have known what it was like to place my skin on someone else's and feel the
heat. Feel an electricity that wasn't being fed by silent generators. To know
that everything you saw was all that there was, and that nothing else was out
of sight, or hidden. The sunlight didn't burn us anymore. The
dome material permanently clouded its focus. 1. You know how eyes work. They work in
unison, and one may be blurry or focused in close while the other one is far
and opposite. One by one they don't resolve three dimensions, you have no depth
perception, but together your brain can compute the two streams of information
and mesh them into a unification that favors neither. The new one is the final part of the
reconfiguration. The information is pulled to me (rather than pushed in by a
chemical drip that's programmed by people far off), and whatever I see is
reported back in qwik hi-res. The mouseclaw plugs measure it carefully
and I am invisible to them. The spark throbbed through the back of my
head, down the seam. My eye placed perfectly (the pieces of my skull around it
shift and are adjustable, they knew how to jigger and hone the fitting with
laser tools imbedded in the gearbox behind my spine) to capture and report on
my friends from the university. The static came to life and the
rescanning began, channel by channel. TheyÕre not interested in the drugs.
TheyÕre not interested in the sex. The new eye starts to finally sync with the
other components they had replaced since the crash, and the 1000s of pieces of
date begins to make senses. My homehere starts to talk back to me and
stabilize its environment. Focus sharpened, and deep background
information collates with the streaming input to my final eye. Needs locked
into place and the environment responds to the stimuli my other pieces report. Do
people act differently if theyÕre being watched? If they know theyÕre being
watched but donÕt see whoÕs watching, do they forget theyÕre being watched and
begin to act natural again? The routines have been waiting, paused in
logic loops, since the first pieces were converted. Since my brain had been
slotted for repair, and I accepted that first, digital eye. I listened, in the way a man with no
ears, with the tools a clockwork porpoise uses in the absence of sonar, in the
way a receiver might pass on signals from a radiant station. Ordering was going
on without me speaking, choosing, counting. Robots. Algorithms hummed in the
deep heart of my soul. I was doing good for the company. They
weren't my friends anyway. They weren't interested in the books they were
reading. My pupil irised and spun into a sharp pinpoint of observation, as the
talafidan washed through my vessels like electricity through a resistor pan. And there was no resistance. My final eye
lit and I was whole. Roger Leatherwood worked on the lower rungs of Hollywood in numerous capacities for 20 years before returning to print fiction. His work has appeared in Nefarious Ballerina, Thirteen Myna Birds, Circa Literary Review, Skive Magazine, Liquid Imagination, Surreal Grotesque, Infernal Ink, RazorDildo and others. In the opinion of this editor, Roger Leatherwood builds scaffoldings which ascend the future. I worked with him previously on the first issue of The Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles. |